Australia

I was briefly back in the town called Alice tio catch my plane to Cairns, which gave me just enough time to get a ballon ride in.

5am the bus picked me up (this doesnt sound like fun) and at that time it is bitterly cold. We may have been in the Red centre, but parts of me were blue. The journey took about 45 mins to the site and after a wind direction test, we relocated to the start position, and was ready to unload the balloon. It took about half an hour to get the balloon in an upright position. Thankfully by then the heat from the burners were taking the chill from the air. There was 10 of us climbing in to the basket. All of us had never done this before and didn't have a clue what to expect. The balloon initally starts to slide across the floor for the first few seconds and then gracioulsy slowly begins to climb. The ride was completly smooth, no sudden jolts just gentle movments and a feeling of just hovering over the landscape, like snorkling and looking down on the sea bed.

A second balloon, which took off at the same time floated underneath us. It looked like it was on the groud ( we were so far up by then it gave the appearance it was stationary on the floor). Not long after, the sun climbed out of the distant horrizon. the sky in both the east and the west were amazing. blazing reds and golds in the east, blue, green and violets in the west where the clear sky was catching up to the night. 45 minutes later it was over. We were taken to a clearing to enjoy a traditional bush breakfast. Quiche, chicken legs and friut? (bugger eating grubs)

When a arrived back at the hotel i turned on the TV to find that there had been a ballooning accident in Vancouver. (i'm gald i saw that after i had returned)

Ballooning is an amazing experience. One word of warning, take lots of layers of clothing or expect retracting nads!

Lots of people who come to the Red Centre go to Uluru, see the sunrise and sunset and leave. thats a huge mistake. As good as Uluru is, they are missing out on something so much better, Kings Canyon. Plus, the drive is on a diverted route back to Alice Springs. So the day wouldn't even be lost by taking in the tour.

Once at the Canyon, there's a choice. Either the easy garden walk or the difficult rim walk, which takes you around the top of the canyon. I opted for the rim walk being the model of fitness that i am!?

The first part of the walk is the hard bit climbing Cardiac Ridge. I don't know who named it, but they had good reason. I'm sure there's been many heart attacks trying to climb to the top of the canyon on this route. Fortunately, the rest of the walk is pretty straightforward including the walk down to the garden of Eden, a tiny lake amongst the canyon surrounded by sub tropical greenery. Almost like an oasis amongst the multi layered canyon walls. A couple of the areas have been cordoned off, due to the inpending rockside. For some reason, some people think of this to be a sign of a challenge, and ignore the ropes and signs to take a look at the view point. Probably americans. If they had seen the view of the ledge for the other side of the canyon, id think they would thought twice against it.

The walk is about 3 hours to get around and the views are amazing.

I left Alice early for the 6 hour bus ride to Uluru (or Ayres Rock as its also known as). The drive across the red desert was complemented by the bush scrub land, the wildlife including kangeroos, Camels and cattle that roam around in their thousands. Some of them deciding to pick a fight with a bus with a not so happy outcome. (still, always good to have an early lunch if the oppotunity arises and the busses carry roof racks. Takeout at its best!!)

Arriving at the Uluru Resort is strange. Its the same as a typical all-inclusive place, but in the middle of nowhere. The whole resort, hotels, shops, backpackers everything is owned by one company, which means only one thing BLOODY EXPENSIVE. In their defence the shuttle bus around the resort is free- but thats the only thing. The barbecue at the backpackers is the livleist place to be at night, with a live band on whist you cook your meat ( you can't blame the chef this time!!)

The first night, i booked a trip to Uluru to see the sunset, which is about 15 minutes away from the reort. The sunset happens quickly and you dont notice the rock changing colour too much. It's only when i looked at my pictures that i was taking every 30 seconds did i see the dramitic change. Equally dramitic was the sunset over the rest of the landscape, with the sillouettes it cast over the continous scrubland and ghostgum trees in the distant.

The sunrise is much slower and therfore less dramatic, but still worth getting up at 5 in the morning for? i think

The rest of the morning was filled with a cultural tour of Uluru, with one of the true natives. He proclaimed that he had killed 5 kangeroos that same morning. He then went on to show the weapons that the native used including spears , clubs, and boomerangs. He then explained that he prefer to use a shotgun (how else would he kill 5 kangeroos in a morning). He made fire out of wood, bark and hair and told some traditional fables about the rock. At the botton of the rock there are various plaques dedicated to people who have attempted to climb Uluru and killed themselves. The local natives request that you dont climb the rock because it makes them sad when an accidient happens. The Goverment see it differently and allow it. Alot of Aussies think of it has their "God given right to climb it" (someone actually said that) and although the percentage of visitors who decide to climb it has dropped, thousands still try to climb it. As the rock is smooth, like i pebble, it would be a nightmere to climb. The only comparison i can think of, would be trying to climb up the slide when you was a kid, but for 300 metres high)

I respectfully decided to abide by the locals request and did not climb- (Beside Kings Canyon's much more fun).

In the afternoon we travelled an hour or so to Kata Tjuta (also known as the olgas). Kata Tjuta is actually higher than Uluru and much more interesting. From a distance it looks like a series of domes, and depending from the view and the position of the sun will completely change in colour, shaddow and shape. On closer look there are a number of canyons. The walk to one of these is worth doing if you have time. On closer inspection, Kata Tjuta is totally different to Uluru, as the whole of the range is made up of tiny rock formations that have over the years been pebble dashed by the rusty sand and baked over thousands of year. Whislt Uluru is just a rock.- Most people dont bother with Kata Tjuta- Their Mistake.

Later that day was another Uluru sunset, but from a different vantage point- Same outcome. Funny that.

Finally got through a potential disaster with my luggage. My connecting flight from Christchurch to Sydney arrived about 30 mins late, which meant because of the new security scanning protocols , they didn't have time to scan my bags on the connecting flight to Alice Springs. Fortunately Quantas were excellent about it, gave me an overnight bag and delivered my bag to the hotel the following day. (Air Pacific - Rubbish, British Airways- Poor, Quantas- Suprisingly very good)

Alice Springs is all you expect from an outback town in the middle of nowhere. There is lot of native aboriginies here, but they don't do alot. All they do is well ... nothing. A few sell their dream paintings ( which are ridiculesly expensive. Even the cheapest ones will cost over 200 pounds). At those prices all they have to do is sell one a month.

Before i landed in Alice, i had seen on TV that they had banned drinking in all outdoor areas. It became news here because it was seen to be victomising the natives, since that is all most of them did all day on the grassy knolls scattered around the town centre . All the tourists would generally drink in the pubs, which wern't effected. So the locals just sit there like zombies wondering what to do with their day." I know i'll sell my join the dot to dot painting i did when i was six, some american will buy it for a few hundred dollars for sure"

Alice has a a few decent restaurants, in particular the famous ..... not to be forgotten... .ok i forgot its name , but it serves up a platter of Aussie grown tucker such as crocodile, emu, kangeroo, and camel. Yes camel

Years ago, before trains went across Oz. Most travel was by camel. However after the railways were built. There was no use for the camels so they let they go in to the wild. There are now thousands of them all over the bushland and are thought of as pests. However, they are well sort after in the middle east, since they are classed as pure blood and very healthy.

The whole area, for hundreds of miles, is a mass of red. This is due to the iron content which has eventually rusted and has coated everything including the famous, Uluru, Kata Tjunta and Kings Canyon. (All places i shall be visting over the next week). However, whilst i was at Alice Spings, i took the tour to see the McDonnald mountain range. This is a long ridge of mountains, which was created by two plates colliding, one being forced up. At the time they were created, the range was higher that Everest ( how they know this i've no idea ). But due to errosion, all that left now is two sets of peaks, which resemble a train of caterpillers (which ironicly is what the natives call them), but enough history. The tour was a full day and had some good walks and wildlfe on the way

Alice is the best place to go as a base if you want to tour the red centre landscapes. The other places are over priced, although you will have to stop in Uluru to be able to see everything (but make it only 2 days)

.......and restaurant was called the Overlander. not quite yet gone senile.

I'd like to thank Paul Weller for Inspiration

Just flown here the other night, where my bags are i dont know.
Ten hour flying, over to the outback to be stuck in a long que..... hell.
Stop apologising, about where my luggage went.
Time is short. The tea is gruesome.
And my duds they need a change
I'm in a town called Alice...... YEY A YEY YER!!!

Rows and rows of disused buildings.
Painted dots on shops and bars.
And a 100 miserable Abos, sitting all day on their Arse.
Hanging out on grass or corners, but no drink its banned.
its enough to make you want to bugger, off to another land.
I'm in a town called Alice...... YEY A YEY YER!!!

(Aliice Springs recently banned drinking outdoors, which has seriously upset (Peed/Off) the local Aborigines
)